There are no easy answers. The lawyer was helpful but didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Under the law, all assets and debts are communal and will be divided 50/50. Unless there are exceptional circumstances, parents are awarded joint custody and guardianship, however, one location is deemed the "residence". The non-residential parent then has to contend with access.
If the split is amicable, we can get it done for a couple of thousand dollars. The problem is that Kelly believes that the house is all hers and the debts are all mine, so to complete the divorce, it will likely be a fight and cost thousands. The lawyer recommended mediating first, but wanted a retainer of $5000 to start.
I've been thinking about the whole thing for the past few days. I may have to talk to my parents first.
In the meantime, our relationship has continued pretty much unchanged. Kelly asks me to come over or even stay, then picks a fight and tells me to leave. I try not to put myself in that position, but it's hard to say no if there is a chance we can be civil.
We even went out to the pub for dinner together on Friday. Except she spent most of the time talking about different guys she has been talking to on-line. She wasn't bragging, just telling me funny or odd things they were saying to her. After about 45 minutes I asked if we could talk about something else. She grew cross and said she didn't know what to do about moving forward because she didn't trust me, I replied that I didn't trust her. She said "Fuck Off" and left. I finished my dinner before leaving and going home.
I have had both kids the past three nights. I figure she is off somewhere with somebody.