Thursday, September 9, 2010

Sept 9, 2010

I'm just trying to keep things simple this week. I had both kids on Tuesday night. I made a tuna casserole with butter cabbage which they both complained about, so I know it was good. Then last night I brought Taylor home from football and we all shared some soup for supper with Kelly at home. Then I took Erin with me for the night about 9 PM. No crazy midnight calls.

Yesterday and today the neighbour has been hammering and sawing int he morning about 10:30. Kelly calls me very cross saying she can't get anything done with the noise (she is writing a novel). However, the bylaws allow for it after 9 AM so there's not much we can do.

It is consistent with her personality to blame other people for a particular circumstance. Scargosun has cleverly pointed this out. Kelly blames her lack of self esteem on her mother (who preferred her younger sister), her father (for being distant then dying when she was 18), her first husband (who apparently didn't support her). She blames her lack of a career on her first inlaws (who she said discouraged her from working), on me (for moving her to Winnipeg where she didn't work) and now on the kids. Plus my mom doesn't like her, but since my parents live in Ontario, I don't know what that has to do with anything.

Curiously, when Kelly's first marriage split up, he wanted to work on it and go to counselling but she refused saying it was all his fault so what could she do? Her solution was to date other people (including me). It was only several years later when he and I became friends that I knew the true extent of the situation. I had thought they were long separated when we met. Turns out he was still living in the house hoping it would work out.

I fear history is repeating itself, but I don't want to give up on her.

1 comment:

scargosun said...

You know what the definition of insanity is, right? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. The tough part here is, you don't even control the fact that the same thing IS happening. I just don't see this working without counseling because you both are not even close to the same page, maybe not even the same book.