Kelly's tension about spending time with me continued last night. I called after work and she said she didn't want me to come up for the evening. She said she missed me but was too "conflicted" about her feelings to be sure. She said, as hard as it was, she thought it would be best if we did spend the time apart like she has told me right after the move. I asked her how long she thought she needed and she got cross saying she wasn't going to work to a deadline and was tired of me "being in control of the relationship and pushing her around all the time."
I asked her what she meant, like a specific, and she said she never wanted to move to Winnipeg in the first place. I reminded her that we went there because of the job opportunity, but it didn't make any difference.
Kelly said the kids really missed me so she wanted me to plan to see them tonight after work. I asked how she wanted me to do that because they couldn't stay with me at Brian's and it didn't make sense to drive up to take the to McDonald's for an hour then drive back again. She said that was fine and she'd tell the kids I didn't really want to see them and hung up.
I called back three times and got no answer.
This morning when I got to work there was a long email about how much she loved me but didn't feel the same after that day at the bank when she found out how much our mortgage and line of credits were. She felt she needed to save herself and the kids from a life of debt (even though I have the only income and give her my entire pay cheque to manage all the bills and expenses).
Again, I responded requesting we go to marriage counselling together. So far no response, but if she was up late (like 3 or 4 am) it will be a while before she reads it.