I'm glad I saw the counsellor last night. I find myself going back and forth between being angry and being sad, wanting to take some action to resolve the situation and just cutting all ties. Mostly it's because I'm powerless to affect any change. The decision is entirely Kelly's and she is refusing to got to marriage counselling together.
The counsellor told me last night, "If you are in, you are all the way in. If you are out, your out. There is no half-way, you decide."
I'm in, I know that. I want a marriage with Kelly. I want our family.
I stayed at Brian's last night, but am going to see the kids tonight after work. Kelly has asked me to take them camping for the weekend, and she'll do some stuff around the house and have a break.