Thursday, July 22, 2010

July 22, 2010

So the past 2 days have included just about every emotion. Kelly continues to be confused, but tells me she has hope for us since I have shown a willingness to "get better". I'm not sure what was "wrong" with me, and she won't give specifics.

Then she told me that she finds herself attracted to this friend from high school but assures me she has no intent on acting on it, nor would she date him if she started dating other men. Then I found out that while I was at work yesterday, earning money to support her and the kids in a house I'm not welcome in, she took the kids boating with this guy for the afternoon.

When I said I wasn't comfortable with it, Kelly replied I had no right to be jealous and that I can't tell her who she can be friends with. Needless to say I didn't sleep over last night.

The sessions with the counselor at work have been good for getting me to think about what I can control and preparing me to be in a good mental state for what happens.

Kelly emailed me this morning using phrases like "if things don't work out" between us but saying I've been very "sweet and understanding".

I think I need to  find my own place to live for next month and get a little stability. However, that takes me further down the road to being a "single dad". But can't live in denial for ever.

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