The last week may have been one of the toughest. I had thought Kelly's request to "separate" had been because of the commute and her need to spend some time to sort out issues.
Last night Kelly told me she wanted to date other men. It was like the earth fell out from under me. Over the past few days she says she has gone back and forth from being determined to date, to dreading the thought of looking for someone. She has convinced herself that dating will only help make me look good.
I asked her what happens if she meets someone she likes better. She doesn't know.
In the past 2 days, Kelly says she is now really confused. She had understood for nearly 2 years (!) that our marriage was over. She had been looking past it. The thing is, I had no idea it was over at all. I though I was continuing being a good husband and father.
I don't want her to date, and there is nothing I would rather do less than meet some other woman, but I can't tell her not to. It feels like everything is so fragile and one wrong step and I'll shatter the whole thing.
Maybe taking the kids camping will be good. I hope she misses me.