I'm not sure how much this journal/blogging is helping; I still feel pretty bummed and confused much of the time. I stayed with Kelly last night. It's great being at the house, like a normal Dad, joking with the kids, doing chores etc.
It's later in the evening, when the distractions are gone, that being with Kelly becomes an issue. I never know what I'm going to get: affectionate wife or bitter ex. And they can swap back and forth in a heartbeat. Actually once Bitter Ex comes out, she's there for the night. If I could keep Kelly from having too much wine, it might slow the onset of Bitter Ex, but if I suggest it, she gets very defensive and says that wine is one of her few remaining pleasures now that life is so complicated.
Kelly is going to Vancouver tonight to stay with a girlfriend for the weekend. I'm looking forward to some one-on-one with the kids and getting some stuff done around the house. I'm installing a new garbage disposal in the kitchen. Then maybe we'll go for a swim at the lake.
I'm putting off looking for my own place for a while.